An Angel on my shoulder
by psychedelic angel
Summary: [songfic] the pressure has taken its toll on vanessa, what happens when she starts to suffer from a very serious eating disorder, and can he save her?
1. Chapter 1

_My life was flashing before my eyes_

_A second later, I walked away_

_Like my heart had crashed and burned in shame_

_You pulled me from the flames_

_I took your hand and you helped me upon my feet_

_I confessed but you had forgiven me_

_There's courage in the truth you said_

_Our love will never end_

_You shield me from danger, you're my shelter_

_You are my hiding place_

She stared silently out the window, watching as the rain weaved its way across the cool glass. It rained so often recently it almost seemed to match her mood for mood, each day as she woke up hating herself just a little bit more, it was almost a given it would be a little darker outside.

Involuntarily she shivered slightly when her arm gently brushed against the window, she didn't understand why she hated herself so much, she just knew she did. Three months ago she had begun to despise herself; every perfect curve she unmercifully crucified, every almost invisible flaw in her character she began to dissect and change, she had a mission to become perfect.

She had begun to exercise non-stop, she'd taken up running, only gradually to start with but slowly as the pounds began to slide off she increased the amount until it became a routine, her excuse it gave an escape from problems and the stress of being in the public eye. This combined with a drastic change in diet, resulted in very sudden weight loss and the more weight she lost, the more she wanted to loose. Her goal of seven stone had been reached easily, but somehow six seemed far more appealing, and now here she was in a room in a rehab clinic weighing just four stone and six pounds. She was dangerously underweight, and gradually loosing more, no one could make her eat and she didn't want to. Sure her family and friends cared about her but no one knew quite what to say, this new Vanessa and her determination scared them.

When people had started to pay compliments on her weight loss it had become an addiction and regained some of the self-control she thought was slipping away, and now when she was presented with the truth of being too thin she really couldn't believe it. Its funny how one joking comment about being heavy from a friend can completely change your life, and the one friend she'd needed right then to defend her had been away filming. Four months he'd been gone, and she missed him, he'd know what to do, he'd know how to save her, she was sure of it, but had anyone even thought to tell him?

Tears silently flowed onto her face as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, gently lifting her t-shirt up to expose the skeleton underneath, she ran her fingers softly over each rib, a small smile tugged at her lips but the tears remained. She quietly withdrew back to her previous position on the floor, staring desperately out the window, searching...searching for him, hoping he'd arrive in time to save her. She hugged her knees in an attempt to keep warm, the once shiny hair falling lankly in front of her face, _"please,"_ she whispered to the sky.

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**AN **ok so I'd really like to kow what you think to this story, constructive criticism very much appreciated!

Its personal to me because I have suffered from an eating disorder but I guess it may have therefore made it harder to write which is why prehaps I think it seems quite messy.


	2. Chapter 2

_There's an Angel on my shoulder, here tonight _

_Making sure that I'm alright_

_When I'm falling fast, you rescue me, you love unconditionally_

_And when I'm cold and so alone_

_Back in your arms I feel at home_

_I pray that you will always be, A Guardian Angel_

_Sent for me_

As the weeks steadily turned to months she was still confined to the rehab centre. She had no desire to recover, without him life just wasn't the same. She missed him. She needed him to wipe the tears away and help her smile again. When he left she'd been heartbroken, never telling him how she felt. Of course they'd had strained telephone conversations but they never spoke about her, she avoided it. She sighed deeply, every morning she woke up hopeing to find the answer, every night she went to sleep knowing she wouldn't.  
The door slowly opened, she wipped her head around, hopeing. But once again she was dissapointed. Instead there stood a guy she didnt recognise, his eyes seemed harsh and his face was tight, his cheek bones stuck out awkwardly creating an eerie atmosphere around him. He pushed uninvited into the room, hurried towards the corner and he thrust his boney hand twards Vanessa. Confused, she gently took it, startled as he pulled her sharply towards him.  
_"Vanessa Hudgens, right?"_ His tone harsh and demanding. She meekly nodded her reply. She felt frightened, he was uninvited in her personal space.  
_"So, whats a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?"_ She was shocked, for the first time in months someone hadn't cringed at the sight and feel of her body, she felt almost flattered. Although she still felt uneasy in his presence. She tried to slowly wriggle out of the tight embrace he held her in, he only tightened it.  
_"You're wasting your time he wont come."_ He whispered against her ear, the feel of his breath on her skin sickened her. _"You know everyone in here needs a friend, we could have alot of fun you and I."_ Her eyes widened at his remark, but she began to think maybe just maybe he wasn't coming, and she guessed she could use a friend. Cameron saw the vulnerability in her eyes, and taking advantage of this harshly pushed her back against the wall. She yelped in surprise, becoming scared and frightened. As he pressed his lips to hers she began to struggle, she didn't want this she wanted Zac. Her struggling became more frantice as she tried to fight herself free, he pinned her arm against the wall the other hand wandering over her. Just as she was beginning to give up he broke free, smirking he dropped her to the ground as he turned and left her alone once again.  
She remained on the floor, hugging her knees close as she rocked, sobbing desperatly _"oh Zac,"_ she whispered _"where are you?"_

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A month later, and Cameron was continuing to abuse her, every night he'd come to her room and every night she became more terrified of what he would do. She was steadily loosing more weight and he was slowly destroying any self respect she had left. She sat staring out the window clutching the radiator in an attempt to keep warm as the rain fell heavily outside. Registering that the door had opened she stiffened but didn't turn to face it she had already predicted who it would be. His eyes wildly searched the room, untill they rested on the small bundle by the window. He rushed forward and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, she flinched and turned to face him. She gasped and allowed him to scoop her up in his arms, kissing her forehead as she cried against his chest. She looked so fragile and her eyes were empty and hollow. She clung to him desperately, worried that it was all a dream and she'd wake up to the pain she hoped he'd help to banish. He silently cursed himself for not being there to protect her, and vowed now to never leaver her again. He slowly dropped down to the floor beside the bed while she gently rocked in his arms, sobbing hard against him, he stroked her hair trying to reassure her everything was going to be alright. He marvelled at how small she had become and how easily he thought she might snap, it scared him and he felt angry that no one seemed to have thought to tell him until it was almost too late. She stopped crying and turned to face him, a small smile growing on her lips, one that for a few seconds seemed to sparkle in her eyes, before the pain engulfed them once more. He gathered her in his arms and together, exhausted, they fell asleep against the bed.

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AN - so I'd really appreciate some reviews on this, I'm not quite sure where its going yet though.


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